A lot of people view fingering a woman as a teenage sexual activity. But, that is far from the truth. Adult women enjoy being fingered just as much as teenagers. When done right, fingering a woman can be the hottest foreplay act.
Most women do not orgasm from just penetrative sex. They need foreplay and even fingering. Around 80% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Whether it’s done as a part of foreplay or the main event, fingering a woman can be really pleasurable.
Here you can become the master of the bedroom: learn how to finger a woman properly. Note that the vagina is sensitive, and thus, if not done properly, you can hurt your partner. And, that is the last thing you want to do.
It’s important to know that every vulva is different and unique, so are the needs of a woman. Here’s everything you need to know before you finger a woman. Consider this your guide to mastering sex!
Tips on how to finger a woman
1. Get to know the vulva
First things first, get to know the female anatomy. You should know the vulva before working your way in. The vulva includes the pubic mound, inner and outer labia, clitoris, perineum, and the vaginal opening. All these areas are sensual to touch, sensitive, and erogenous spots.
As you may already know, the clitoris is the pillar of female pleasure and orgasm. It has about 8000 endings and is super responsive to touch. Although the clitoris is the centre of female pleasure, we often forget that other parts deserve attention too. If you want to finger a woman really well, you should ask her where she likes to be touched. And while doing so, pay attention to all the pleasure zones.
2. Start slow
It takes about 15 to 22 minutes for a person with a vulva to reach an orgasm. Therefore, you have to pace yourself and start slow. Every woman enjoys a buildup. So don’t forget to set the mood. The first tip is to not jump to the clitoris at first. Play around with other areas. Pay attention, get intense and interesting. Begin your play slowly and gently and be receptive to how your partner is feeling when you finger her. This step also includes incorporating other kinds of foreplay like kissing her, playing with nipples and whatever both of you enjoy.
3. Use Lubricant
The smoother and slippery the vulva is, the more pleasurable it is for the woman. Thus, don’t shy away from using lube. Sometimes, the natural lubricant isn’t enough, therefore you might need extra help.
It is best to go for an organic and natural lube like the ones that are vegan and don’t contain allergens.
4. Don’t be afraid to use your tongue
You should know that the vagina cannot lubricate itself all the time. And, if you don’t want to use lube, you can try going down on her. All women enjoy receiving head just as much as men. Therefore, you should definitely use your tongue to work your way in.
5. Work your way in
Instead of jumping straight to the clitoris, it is better to work your way in. Of course, clitoral stimulation is important but so are other things. And before you go straight for the fingering the vaginal opening, pay attention to the clitoris. What you need to do is, play around with all the parts. While the gamechanger to fingering a woman is clitoral stimulation, other parts deserve to be touched too. The best way to go about this is to ask your woman what she likes and what she wants to be touched.
6. Listen to your partner
You have to pay attention to your partner’s needs and how she is responding to your touch. When you want to make your partner reach an orgasm, it is really important to tune into them. If you change the rhythm or focus and notice that things are getting quiet, go back.
Pay attention to what your partner is enjoying and work with that. Listening to your partner and learning their body language is the best thing you can do if you want to master sex. It’s essential. And, even though you have the control here, there is no sex tip better than listening to your woman’s erotic cues.
7. Use a sex toy
Don’t be intimidated with sex toys. The only reason why they exist is to make sure both you and your partner have a good time. Using a bullet vibrator while fingering her will ensure that she has a great orgasm. Thus, if you want to make your partner feel good, use sex toys.
8. Penetration is optional
When you finger a woman, it’s good to get your partner a little warmed up before you aim for the penetration. However, penetration is optional. Some women don’t even need penetration to reach an orgasm. You should ask your partner if she’s okay with penetration and if the answer is positive, you can go ahead with a finger or two.
9. Hit her g-spot
If you want your partner to have a good time, when you finger a woman, hit the g-spot. The g-spot is located on the upper part of the vaginal canal. Even though every vulva and g-spot is unique and in a slightly different location, generally it’s two or three inches inside the body. To stimulate the g-spot, use a “come-hither” motion.
10. Make sure your hands are clean and nails cut
When you finger a woman, you need to ensure that your hands are clean and your nails trimmed. Or else, it can be extremely painful and you might even end up giving a bacterial infection which is a straight no-no. Remember that hygiene is important even when it comes to sex, foreplay and everything in between.
Just like the other tips on how to finger a woman, this one is crucial.
In the end, make sure that no matter what you do, both of you should have fun. And, don’t forget to ask for consent.