We are all very excited when we meet a new person and things sort of begin to simmer between us. The first date, the first kiss, seems all very exhilarating. But suddenly when you are trying to build a bond with the other person through texts and realize that the other person is replying to you in monosyllables, the chances are that you have been ghosted.
More often than not, ghosting makes you feel like you are the reason for your date’s cold behavior. It’s normal to feel so, but you need to understand that it is not your fault and you don’t have to feel guilty about it anymore. However, do make sure that you recognize the signs of ghosting and not pester the person incessantly.
Be that as it may, before we begin with the litany of the signs of ghosting, let us first understand the concept truly and what ghosting feels like.
What is ghosting?
Ghosting is basically when the person you used to talk to over texts, messages, or through any other medium of conversation, suddenly stops or declines to answer your texts or calls without any sort of explanation.
It is generally done out of the blue which leaves the victim confused, bewildered, hurt, paranoid, and even guilty thinking that their cold behavior is the result of something that they did in the past.
In addition to this, ghosting leaves the victim in a state of liminality, where he is constantly wondering whether the person he is talking to wants to connect with him or not. It is technically a pseudo-rejection where the victim does not know that he has been rejected.
When someone is ghosting you, it implies that they are not into you anymore and they don’t think you and them have a chance. So, to soften the blow of rejection and save themselves from the trouble of explaining all this stuff, they would refrain from answering your calls or texts.
Regardless of how saintly their actions sound, ghosting is so not cool because you deserve to know the reason behind what they feel and why they feel, out of respect for the bond you share with the person, no matter how deep or superficial it is.
So, if you are the one being ghosted, just know for sure that the person does not want to take this relationship or whatever you guys have any further. And if you are the one who’s ghosting others then, dude grow up and have a direct conversation like an adult.
With that said, let us discuss some of the crystal clear signs that the person you are talking to, is ghosting you.
4 Clear signs that your ‘The One’ is ghosting you
1. Monosyllabic conversation
When you feel that your text conversation with the person whom you like has turned bland and lifeless due to the monosyllabic contribution from the other person, you need to know that the person is not interested in you anymore and is ghosting you.
This cold behavior could be caused by a plethora of reasons. More often than not, this happens when the person confesses their feelings to the person they like which sorts of unsettles them. Due to their reasons, they do not want to continue things further, and therefore in an attempt to not ‘hurt you, they try to abstain from the relationship with you entirely.
2. ‘I am busy right now’
This is one of the most clichéd lines that people use to ghost others. No offense to the people who are genuinely trying to juggle between their personal and professional life, but it seems quite impossible to know that one can be so busy in their lives that they cannot take at least a few minutes off their schedule to text a person whom they supposedly like.
In addition to this, you will also know that she’s ghosting you if she keeps on canceling plans which have been solely planned by you and try to keep the call short when you call her because she is ‘busy’.
3. No activity on social media
You might know her to be a social media addict and when things were going pretty good between you guys, you must have liked her posts which she used to post daily or even commented on them. However, knowing that she is not answering your calls or texts properly and combining that with the fact that she has become unusually silent on social media, should open your eyes.
However, if she is genuinely in distress due to some personal reasons and therefore, being unable to catch up with you and the rest of the world, you can just drop a message asking her whether she is okay or how she is doing. If she wants things to work out between you guys, she will tell you the truth.
4. There is no real bond
If you are currently liking someone and reading this article, this should be one of the major conformations of your doubts. Just flashback your mind to when you met her for the first time till the present scenario and think about how many times you had a heart-to-heart conversation with her.
If all your conversations were superficial and there was no depth in them, chances are she wants to keep things like that. You may try to have a real conversation with her for peace of your heart, but don’t get disheartened when you know that it won’t work out.
These are some of the clear-cut signs that indicate that the person you like or whom you are talking to is ghosting you. If circumstances resonate with whatever has been mentioned earlier in the article, you need to know that you are not the problem.
You do not have to blame yourself for their behavior. Once you know that, you need to accept the fact that things don’t always work out the way you want them to.
We know, it sucks and life is unfair sometimes, but you also need to know that there is nothing wrong with you if a person is ghosting you. They must have their preferences and choices when it comes to dating people, but that does not mean you need to change yourself just because they accept you.
It also does not mean that you have to pester them with incessant messages. Take the hint and leave them gracefully. That will only make you more respectful in their eyes.