Meeting people to date can be hard enough when you’re monogamous. But what about when you’re polyamorous? How in the world are we supposed to meet people to date? Well, we have got five tips to help you do just that comin’ right up so make sure to keep reading.
When you’re polyamorous, sure you can meet people to date at a bar or at a coffee shop, or the library but it’s a lot less likely that they’re gonna be polyamorous, too. How do you meet people interested in polyamorous dating and if you want to meet those special someones where exactly do you go?
Well, here are the best tips we have for you if you are looking for dating a polyamorous guy or you’re looking for dating a polyamorous girl:
1. For polyamorous dating local to you
Meetup.com is arguably one of the best places you can try to find these dates. This is especially useful if you live in a larger town but even if you don’t, you can start one of your own. You can also try other polyamorous dating sites to find out which one suits you best.
One thing to keep in mind about polyamorous meetups is to read any rules that the meetup might have. A lot of polyamorous meetups are great for discussion and making friends but explicitly prohibits hitting on people or asking them out on dates during the actual meetup.
This is a good thing because it helps create a comfortable environment where people feel like they can come and create community and make friends without worrying about unwanted romantic attention. However, once you have that community and you do make those friends you can hang out with them outside of the meetup.
2. You can be introduced to their friends
This is a great way to connect with fellow polyamorous people in your location. Number two is probably the most popular among polyamorous people and that’s OkCupid. It’s both a dating website and an app.
The reason polyamorous people like OkCupid is that it provides polyamorous options on both the profile and the search queries. If you have a primary or anchor partner you can also link to them on your profile.
Linking to a primary or anchor partner on your profile on OkCupid if that’s how you approach polyamory can allow people to feel a little more comfortable dating you, knowing that your partner is okay with it and is on OkCupid as well and everything is above board.
That said, the drawback to linking to your partner is that some people will see that as a hierarchical setup and if they don’t want that kind of polyamorous relationship they might pass on you.
Because OkCupid allows you to indicate whether you’re interested in monogamy or non-monogamy that works well for everyone. It’ll filter out people who don’t match your relationship style preferences.
3. Facebook groups
There are several facebook groups related to polyamory and frankly, any kind of polyamory that you can imagine practicing. In any given location, there’s probably some kind of Facebook group for polyamory and polyamorous dating. So if you do a search under groups on Facebook and look for polyamory in your area you’re bound to find people to talk to.
4. Polyamorous speed dating
Now, we know people who have and they’ve had a lot of fun at these events. They’re not quite as common as just general meetup groups for polyamory but do a search in your area, see what’s around and if you don’t find any polyamorous speed dating events in your area you could consider connecting with people who have done them in other cities and see about creating one yourself.
5. Meeting polyamorous people through the normal course of your life
It is quite possible that you meetup a polyamorous date that had absolutely nothing to do with polyamory or even relationships at all and meet a woman who is non-monogamous and you could end up sort of dating for a little while.
Becoming platonic friends is a really good idea in such a situation. You are going to have more success meeting polyamorous people in the normal course of your life the more out about being polyamorous that you are.
You can either talk about this as you grow more comfortable with a person and they just sort of get to know your life and what kind of person you are or you can be completely out. People typically find out that you’re polyamorous fairly quickly when they look you up online.
If you don’t feel safe being out or you’re just not ready yet there are those other ways that you can meet people. OkCupid, meetup groups, other polyamorous dating sites, Facebook groups are all great ways to meet polyamorous people.
One bonus tip for meeting polyamorous people who, like me, are part of the LGBT community is that there are often polyamorous groups that might show up at Pride every year. Now, polyamory is not part of the LGBT umbrella.
But there is a lot of overlap between LGBT communities and polyamory communities. So if you do fall under the LGBT umbrella then going to Pride every year allows you to possibly meet other non-monogamous or polyamorous people and it could be your chance of finding the one.