As heterosexual men who are interested in women, we often look for things that we should do to impress women we are interested in. And we also look for things that we shouldn’t do to annoy or turn off the women we like.
For homosexual men who might not be looking to impress a woman, it doesn’t hurt to learn about things that might put off a woman they know or trying to impress, in a non-romantic or way.
This is a guide for things women hate that men do, and not necessarily things women hate about men. You should know that no individual hates another individual for no reason. There is probably something that the other person does that creates those feelings inside the first person as a reaction (which again, is a combination of the action triggering the hate, and the socialisation and past experiences of the first person).
1. Sexist behaviour
This is a no-brainer and for obvious reasons, first off the bat. Why would anybody appreciate you undermining another person just because of an essential part of existence? And that too with no factual or scientific backing!
Women appreciate a man who treats them as equal and does not conform to traditional gender roles. One of the biggest things that women hate about men is something like mansplaining, where the sexism set in a lot of men’s subconscious makes them believe that they are somehow better than women.
However, we do acknowledge that there are situations where they do prefer traditional biased conventions, for instance, a lot of them do like the man making the first move. But that has its own reasons. Women appreciate you being aware of the sexism around, how certain actions of yours or others could be sexist, seeing them in wider perspectives, and keeping yourself away from such actions.
2. Being overprotective
This is a continuation with the first point. This is one of the biggest things that men do that women hate. We do understand that the world might not be the kindest to women all the time, but this does not mean that you have to act as her protective shield every time she goes out.
A woman is a human, just like a man, and thus has the emotional and rational capacity in her to deal with the world. She is an adult and a full grown-up, she can take care of herself and see for herself who is the guy who keeps hitting on her and sees her with creepy eyes. Trust us, women know who the creep is, you don’t have to worry. She can do well independently, regardless of you being there or not.
We are not saying that you should not be worried about her safety and not take care of her. We are trying to inform you that you should be worried about her, as you would be for any adult.
3. Bad hygiene
This issue might not apply to all men. We are not saying that all men are bad at maintaining basic hygiene. But you know there are a lot of men who are pretty horrible at doing this simple thing. Women hate it when a man cannot maintain basic cleanliness, whether it’s in the clothes they wear or it’s their bedroom’s condition.
It is another thing to look rugged because there are women who prefer men like that, but looking like you have not showered for a whole week or are wearing your dirty clothes from last month is completely unacceptable.
4. Not being open about their feelings
Well, it isn’t that men are not emotional; it’s just that our society and socialisation has emphasised that men should not be emotional and vocal about their feelings. Women appreciate a man who can express his feelings and be okay with being emotionally vulnerable, especially if you two are very close, as friends or in a relationship.
Women hate when a man pretends to be okay when he clearly isn’t. This is not only because women have traditionally been okay with owning up their feelings and emotions and thus appreciate reciprocity. But also because if a person hides his/her emotions, they tend to give off mixed signals and make it difficult for the other person to gauge what is bothering them. This ends up suffocating the person hiding his/her emotions, and also the other person because they cannot understand what it is that is bothering him/her.
We are not telling you to be emotional mush all the time, but women really like a man who is brave enough to talk openly about his feelings.
5. Inconsistent behaviour
This is not just one of the things men do that women hate, this is something people hate in general too. However, in context with things women about men, it is that women really don’t understand when a man behaves like two different people when he is with and without his gangs of bros.
We understand that all of us tweak our personalities a bit when we are different groups of people, but there is a limit to it. There has to be certain core and uniformity to the way a person behaves and is. If you are someone who is an emotional mush and super sweet when you are with a woman you are dating, but then behave like a total playboy or an emotionless freak when you are with your bros can really put off the woman. This inconsistency not only makes you look like a people pleaser and someone with a weak personality but also confuses the woman about what kind of a person you really are.
If you observe, you will infer that these things are not something you were unaware of. You have probably heard these from women around you. But you probably also realised that these things that we have mentioned as ‘things women hate about men or things men do that women hate’ are things that any individual would hate, whether you are a man, woman or trans. No one likes these things in another person. Thus, in conclusion, keep in mind that women are humans, just like men, and have similar notions about how they should be treated, and go through the same emotions men go through.
(Okay, the mood swings during periods might be an exception, but don’t ever bring this up when they behave a little different from what they usually would in a situation! This is one of those things men do that women hate! They really hate this!)