Even after centuries of advancement, unarguably we still live in a patriarchal society. The result? A bunch of unreasonable expectations and a never-ending pressure to overachieve. This pressure more often than never results in severe setbacks in life. Setbacks, as they are called, can be described as a stagnation period in any phase of life. Undeniably, this affects both men and women, but coming back to square one, patriarchal society has for decades, not allowed men to expose their setbacks and that has turned into a burning problem.
Men face severe difficulties in overcoming setbacks, all because of the stigma around opening up about it. Setbacks in life can be a daunting phase over one’s mental health but recognising their patterns and getting hold of tips to overcome setbacks can help ease out the excruciating mental torture it brings along.
Here are some setbacks patterns men might experience in life and some tips about overcoming setbacks-
1-Losing motivation to go on- Losing motivation to go on in life or in a particular aspect is one of the most common types of setbacks that men can experience. The loss of drive holds men back more than anything else. This might be a result of several factors like burnout, or unfulfillment of desired goals. One should focus on keeping a positive outlook in such moments.
Things might get overwhelming at moments but think about why you began that particular workout or doing that job in the first place. Remind yourself of your greater motive and how getting your first salary or getting that six-pack abs brought a smile on your face. Focus on the greater good and set your setbacks back.
2-Being stuck on autopilot- You might sometimes find your lives stuck on autopilot mode. You might be living through a moment or your daily life without really feeling alive or in the moment. You feel as if you are just existing and living without an intention. The greatest agony in life is often boredom, so if you feel disillusioned, considering changing the course. Fed up of doing the same tasks again and again? Think what someone else would’ve considered doing at that point, or look at the other viable options. Fed up of having the same cold pizza every day? Try cooking Rajma Chawal, maybe.
It never hurts to go off tracks sometimes. Similarly, it’s completely alright to give yourself a break sometimes. Take a certain amount of time period you think is required off and do what you love to do. Snuggle up all day in bed, binge-watch your favourite Netflix show, or take the vacation you’ve always wanted. Come back when you feel you can.
3-Being scared of vulnerability- Scared of being vulnerable in front of people? You are not alone. Under the constant pressure of maturing, what men often portray is a mirage of maturity. You might think how brave a man is, but deep down he might be afraid of being alone in the dark. No, that does not mean they will always be scared, but they, like other humans, need time too.
But in the heed of fulfilling society’s unreasonable expectation to mature by a certain age, often put men in an uncomfortable position. Every individual is unique and needs their own time to metamorphose into a mature version of themselves. That period of a constant struggle between fulfilling society’s expectations and maintaining your own speed, men find them battling with vulnerability. Under this pressure, they often encounter circumstances where they feel like giving up and changing into a cocoon.
Solution? Take your own time, instead of focusing on keeping up with society’s expectations, reflect and understand what your heart wants and focus on achieving it. Your feelings matter more than the society’s and it is absolutely alright to be selfish once in a while.
4-Sitting on a dream that seems out of reach- Have you been dreaming of writing the greatest novel or spending your summer in Spain, but all of a sudden, things start going haywire or become dishevelled often leaving you in a state of confusion.
Life is unpredictable and so are its courses, and things do not always go as planned. The safest path to embark upon in such situations is asking yourself the purpose behind it. Sit and introspect about how you or your life will change for the better after you achieve that dream. Maybe you’ll become the best-selling author or fluent in Spanish! Keeping your aspirations at the forefront in such situations is always a good idea!
5-Constant fear of rejection- A constant fear of rejection or being constantly rejected might invite a major setback in your life. A straight forward no might work as a motivation to work harder but when faced with rejection constantly, it hampers the self-confidence of an individual. After a certain point of time, a person might not be willing to make any effort, no matter how capable they are because rejections tend to stab the very point of the brain which emits motivation.
The period can be daunting and the person might need constant reassurance and motivation to keep going. In such circumstances, talking to a loved one always helps. Reach out to your loved ones or someone you trust and talk to them. Reflect upon why didn’t you get the job, or why didn’t you clear that exam and you will have your answer. Don’t let your worries bow you down, you are worth much more!
Setbacks and life: A crossover we never want, yet a part of life
It is necessary to treat the disease and not the symptoms. Developing a healthy habit to keep your setbacks in check leads to a healthy mind-to-body ratio and keeps the motivation within us alive to get through the day. Life isn’t a bed of roses, the season might be cloudy someday and someday it might be sunny, what is essential is that we smile brightly while the sun is out and get through the clouds with the help of an umbrella without drowning ourselves in the rain. Setbacks are a part and parcel of life, and setbacks in life are always unwelcomed.
Understanding the above-mentioned tips to overcome setbacks and imbibing them within oneself is the full-proof way to overcome setbacks and emerging stronger than ever! Be grateful to your setbacks, they can be your best friend, you just need to believe in yourself.