You don’t have to be a love guru to be able to tell that there is a connection, rather a relationship between eye contact and attraction. You’ve seen how it works in movies. Whoever said, “it’s all in the eyes” was absolutely right and spot on with his observation.

Harnessing the power of eye contact is an important life skill and proves to be very useful when it comes to asking a girl out, dating, and in the course of the relationship. Eye contact informs us how the other person feels about us and can affect all types of relationships, even those in the office workplace, in friendships, family relationships, or even the ones in the bedroom. 

Eye contact attraction is a real thing. While there are ways to express your love and attraction overtly through gifts and words, nothing works magic like enduring eye contact. Eye contact is a secret weapon that can make or break any relationship. Then, if it’s so crucial, why does maintain eye contact feel so intimidating?

Importance of Eye Contact: Cooperative Eye Hypothesis

Even though eye contact practices and types of eye contact attraction can vary from culture to culture, some theories are pretty much universal. 

Anthropologists have found out that the importance of eye contact attraction comes from something called the cooperative eye hypothesis. This is purely scientific, which makes it 100 per cent true. 

According to this cooperative eye hypothesis, humans can tell what others are thinking and feeling based on how they make eye contact. It is a very impressive theory. The whites of our eyes are larger than other primates so people can make out what our eyes are pointing towards. 

Eye Contact Signals

Eye contact is not an isolated phenomenon, it results in eye contact attraction and also sends signals to others. Let’s explore the signals that eye contact gives off or can give off!

Friendly

Making eye contact makes you appear friendly and approachable. This is an obvious given. If you’re avoiding looking someone in the eye, you’re naturally perceived as rude and anti-social. Therefore, learn how to make enduring eye contact in the workplace. Eye contact can come in handy in the office, even in times, you won’t realize. Studies have proved that we tend to like people who look others in the eye and don’t shy away from making eye contact. 

Capable

It is assumed that people who are unafraid to look others in the eye and maintain that eye contact attraction are confident team players. They project a sense of self-worth, know what they’re doing, and thus, are reliable people who own up. 

If you’ve been to therapy then you’ve noticed that therapists love to make eye contact and maintain it. This reaffirms the patients that their therapists know what they’re doing. Therefore, eye contact can also work as a reassurance. 

Confident

This is also a give. Those who make persistent eye contact are confident people. They’re not afraid to look at their peers in the eyes, this means that they have high self-esteem and value their worth. These people also have a commanding aura and are usually dominant. They’re not afraid of others judging them. 

If you’re in a position of power or are superior, you should establish your dominance and authority with eye contact. This way your juniors will acknowledge your authority and you will come off as assertive (which is a desirable trait).

It’s also a proven fact that women love confident men who know what they’re doing. 

Honest

This signal can be traced back to the cooperative eye hypothesis. Making eye contact helps to build a strong relationship and also establishes trust. No one can lie while making eye contact. Thus, it is an important tool in relationships. Through eye contact, you can tell what the other person is hiding. And, a person who doesn’t shy away from making eye contact is perceived as a genuine person. 

The Types of Eye Contact Attraction

Now that we’ve learned what signals eye contact can give off, let’s explore the types of eye contact attraction. 

Eye contact as the first step

Think rationally. You’re at a bar and spot a girl you find attractive. Now, your first instinct will be to catch her eye and get her attention. Thus, if you make eye contact from across the counter or the room, she will definitely notice you. Even if the eye contact was for a fleeting second, you’ve communicated to her that you like her or you’re interested.

Catching someone’s gaze is an excellent way to tell them that you find them attractive. This can be an invitation to approach them and is a wonderful way to establish first interaction.

Eye contact as a way of communicating intent

Just like body language and gesture can communicate a great deal about a person, so can a simple yet enduring eye contact. Eye contact is a powerful tool to convey to someone that you’re listening. This communicates intent and assures the other person that you’re interested in them. 

Making eye contact communicates intentionality and can be an effective tool while courting a new relationship. Eye contact can communicate attraction as well as indifference.

Eye Contact during sex

While the term “making love” sounds corny, sex is still not a meaningless act. Making eye contact during sex implies that the act is meaningful and more than just physical contact. Whoever said, “eyes are the window to the soul”, was right. And, this is best understood during sex.

If your partner avoids looking at you during sex, then it’s time to sit down and have a conversation. Also, making eye contact during sex can be extremely hot and convey to your partner that you find them attractive. It also enhances a certain level of trust and confidence in each other. 

If eye contact attraction is so powerful and wonderful, why do people avoid it? 

Why do people avoid eye contact? 

There are a number of reasons why people avoid eye contact. However, to just touch upon the basics, it’s usually because they’re anxious and insecure. Human beings are insecure beings. We’re afraid to show that we love, to show that we care, or to simply show that something affects us. A lot of us find it difficult to open up, to be vulnerable, and to tell others how we feel. We avoid eye contact for exactly the same reasons.

Eye Contact Anxiety is real and serious. But, that doesn’t mean it can’t be overcome. Remember, that you should try your best to overcome this anxiety, at least for the sake of your relationship. It’s difficult to have an endearing and strong long-term relationship if you’re afraid of or avoid eye contact.