Have you ever laid on your bed at night, staring at the ceiling with headphones on, and suddenly a song plays which was a song that your ex shared with you? This song heralds a plethora of bittersweet memories that you shared with your ex and now you just couldn’t get it off your head.
The memories of your ex play along with that song in your head over and over again. Suddenly, you want to get your ex back. You want her so badly in your life again that you are ready to perhaps forgive her, accept her flaws, apologize for your mistakes, or even just clear all the misunderstandings.
It’s completely normal to go through these emotions again. But, before making an impetuous decision, perhaps it’s best to talk your feelings through and understand whether they are not a result of a whim or an ephemeral impulse.
Once you realize that, you can begin to think about how to make your first move and how to get your ex back. For this, a simple text as Hey wouldn’t work. You will have to give extra efforts this time to make you and your partner forget about the past and move on together in the future.
We have decided to make things easier for you and lay out several steps explaining how to win your ex back. So, you might want to have some patience bro, and learn your way through these steps for getting back with an ex.
8 Ways To Get Your Ex Back:
1. Give Your Partner Some Time And Space:
If your partner has broken up with you because he or she feels smothered in a relationship, it might seem extremely heart-wrenching, but space is a very important factor in any relationship. Giving your partner some space and time is equal to respecting them and their wishes. If they like you equally, they will approach you, no matter what.
It is completely natural to feel that you want to reach out to your ex and get things straight. But you only step forward and reach out when you don’t feel you are the reason for the breakup. If you had broken up in the first place, make sure you reach out to your ex with enough compassion and the answers to the questions he or she will certainly have.
2. It’s More About ‘Getting Back’ and Less about ‘Winning’:
Only if you want to get back to your ex for genuine reasons, you approach them first otherwise every other guy is thinking to win your girl over at some point or the other. You’re no different.
Don’t look at your ex as an object that you would want to win again at some point or the other in your life just because you are bored or feel pity towards her, because it is unhealthy and toxic. It’s not a game that finishes once you get what you want, it’s a real relationship involving two real humans with emotions. You do not want to mess with that.
3. Stop Pointing Your Finger At Them:
Breakups are hard, especially when you guys have not ended it on a good note. But if you want to get your ex back, you have to put yourself in their shoes. You have to ask yourself why they did, what they did, and stop being vindictive for a second.
You can still clear all the misunderstandings and your doubts without speaking badly about them. If you are doing that now, you are probably not ready for a relationship. This also means that you have to stop spreading weird rumors about them or be with someone else to get back at them.
4. Stop Being Dependent On Them:
Now, this might seem a little paradoxical, but it is true. If you are getting back with an ex, just because you are physically, emotionally, and mentally dependent upon them, you might want to reconsider the decision.
Give yourself some time and space. Yes, it will seem lonelier and you will be left wondering how to spend your time when you used to make weekend plans or talk with each other all night long.
But, through suffering comes wisdom. So, in this painful and lonely time, perhaps you can learn to do some things alone. Moreover, we all need to learn how to enjoy solitude and not always crave someone else’ s company.
You can build new friendships, develop some hobbies, hit the gym, get a body, and when you are in a perfectly healthy state of mind, you can ask yourself about the cause of the breakup and wonder if you want to get your ex back.
5. Analyze The Issues That Led To Your Breakup:
Sometimes, the reasons for a breakup are not that easy to fix or mend, for instance, your ex is going abroad forever and he or she has some insecurities regarding long distance. The most that you can do here is to convince the other person and motivate them about long distance. But as such a long distance is indeed hard and requires extraordinary efforts and requires sacrifice.
But, if the issues involving your breakup are your words, disagreements, your habits, or any fixable thing, there are chances you can still get back with your ex. But this is only true up to some extent. Sometimes, words cut deeper than anything else.
6. Don’t Hesitate To Make The First Move:
Once you are in a healthy state of mind and you feel that you want to get back to your ex, do not be afraid to make the first move. Just approach them, but make sure they are not with somebody else already. If they are, you need to step back. You cannot break their relationship just so that your ex gets back to you. That’s just downright selfish.
If they are not dating anybody else, you may make the first move and pour your heart out. If you want a relationship to last long, you need to be more honest and transparent with your ex. Do not shy away from your feelings, own up to them. Whatever happens next, it’s up to them.
7. Meet At A Casual Place:
Make sure that you confess physically, looking straight into the eyes of the person and not on the phone. You can ask them to meet you at a casual place on phone. Do not go overboard and call them to a high-society chic restaurant. This might catch them off guard.
You want to keep things friendly initially. Make them know that even if you guys are not together romantically, you always got each other’s backs as friends.
8. Be Straight-Up Honest With Them From The Start:
When you call your ex telling them that you want to talk to them about a serious matter, chances are they already know what’s up. So, beating around the bush won’t work when you meet them. You would have to acknowledge the elephant in the room from the beginning after the casual greetings.
You can begin by saying, ‘The reason I wanted to meet you was……..’. You can begin by apologizing for your mistakes, clearing out the misconceptions, or just telling them, you miss them. Talking through your issues with honesty and dignity will help you guys reach the right decision.
If you do get your ex back, make sure that you put the required time, effort, and affection for the relationship to work.