Women say being a man is easier, whereas men say, being a woman is easier. The truth is, being an individual, regardless of gender, is not easier at all. It has its share of ebbs and flows, which are compounded by societal expectations and the environment that people surround themselves in.
Society expects that man today should be more rational, emotionally put-together, and more ‘masculine’. If he misses out on any of these qualities, he’s termed as effeminate derogatorily.
Resultantly, it puts extra pressure on men to achieve something that sometimes they don’t resonate with. This leads to feeling resentment, passive aggression, and a great deal of dissatisfaction.
Unfortunately, this culminates into a wrong perception of what a man is in the minds of the people. A majority of men, more or less, think that a man is a rich person, praised by cohorts of women, has an appreciable job, and is loved by the relatives and everyone he meets. Notice that all these qualities are materialistic or perhaps narcissistic.
They completely eradicate the presence of virtues, deeds, character, integrity, emotional quotient, wisdom, and most importantly maturity. As a result, a man-child is born.
What is a man-child?
When a man thinks that filling his bank account and surrounding himself with love is all that is required in life to identify himself as a man in this world, he will never try to morally question himself, thereby bidding adieu to his conscience.
This explains why many women break up with men saying that he was too immature. Maturity comes with experience, be it good or bad. It comes from understanding the person standing in front of you, be it a woman or a man. It comes from viewing the world from different lenses and applying every lens to bring a solution to a problem.
Therefore, the most common man-child definition refers to a man who is immature for his age prominently because of the excessive parental intervention in his life to ‘save’ him from the ramifications of his actions and behaviour.
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How to identify a man-child?
1. Never holds himself accountable for his mistakes
Ever met a guy who’s good at nothing except pointing his finger at anyone possible? This is a major problem with a man-child. No matter how hard you try to shovel their fault in their faces, they’d always have some excuse to slap it on your face.
Not only that but somehow the women they’re dating, or the friends they’re with always seem to be protecting themselves from the misfortunes and shortcomings in their life. It’s almost similar to a child throwing tantrums in the house, for his missing toy, without the tears and the sobbing. Sometimes, not even that.
This guy will consciously or unconsciously play the victim card and try to impose his perspective on the people he meets for gaining sympathy and attention.
2. Refusing to grow up
Nobody likes adulting. It’s a process that, more often than not, just happens to us involuntarily. However, adulting is a concept that is unknown to a man-child. He just refuses to grow up. Having childlike qualities implies enthusiasm for living life fully, which contrasts childish qualities that are prominently found in a man—child.
He thinks like a child acts like a child and sometimes even speaks like a child. As a result, he expects other people to treat him as a child.
He expects people around him to do things his way, be it right or wrong. It’s either his way or highway. There is a difference between being rebellious and being a reactionary who tries to break every norm or rule just for the sake of breaking it. As you might’ve probably guessed the category in which the man-child would fall in.
In addition to this, you cannot expect a man-child to stay committed to a relationship. Therefore, you might observe that sometimes a man-child is also the one playing the trope of a college-bad-boy heartthrob.
3. Stays far away from responsibility as possible
Many successful men feel confident about the fact that they are in control of their lives and they are free to make any decision they want to. But, one has to stay far from this reality when talking about a man-child.
A man-child would do his best to dodge any sort of responsibility for his life or his family’s. Instead, he would want others to cater to his needs and be responsible for everything that is happening in his life, waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it does, he has somebody to pour the blame onto and make that person the punching bag.
This guy is the one who has no problem sitting all day on his couch, playing PlayStation and asking his parents for some money. Marrying a man-child is probably the worst nightmare of your life.
If a man cannot take responsibility for his own life, you cannot expect him to take responsibility for his family. You can expect him to lend his shoulder while you’re crying because he expects you to do so.
4. No emotional quotient
Out of many things that a man-child is, he certainly isn’t an empathetic person. If you share a sad story of your life, he’ll know how to turn it towards him and make it all about himself. This is because he grew up receiving all the attention and so he expects other people to also do the same, regardless of what they’re feeling at the moment.
This explains why a man-child is also recognized to be a narcissistic or a stone-cold jerk who doesn’t know how to empathize with others’ emotions or feelings because, in his world, there is no place other than him.
These are some of the most prominent signs of a man-child. If you spot them in a person you know, make sure that you stay as far away from him as possible. However, if you identify with these characteristics, it is very important, to be honest with yourself and your family members. Schedule an appointment with a therapist and right all the wrongs in your life, because we presume there must be plenty!