A failing marriage induces an incomparable emotional pain and suffering that becomes insurmountable to handle especially when things are spiralling down and there’s no way out except one. A marriage starts to sink after a long while, however, till that point the partners are dependent on one another for their physical, financial, and emotional needs, no matter how much they bicker. Under such circumstances, you want to be together but there’s already too much damage done. Making the relationship ‘work’ will just be an excuse and you both will be ‘slow dancing in the burning room’. So, how to recover a marriage that is wrong the way? 

Marriage partners fail to acknowledge the fact that something is wrong with the marriage. They want to pretend everything is good until things become crystal clear. But, by then, it will be too late. Therefore, the first step to recover marriage is to acknowledge that it will soon capsize if necessary steps are not taken in time. Once both the partners have done it, the required steps to be taken in the future become clearer. 

Be that as it may, after acknowledging the fact that your marriage is failing, don’t hasten in giving any sort of conclusions. Many couples after acknowledgement lose all hope and don’t invest efforts or time in saving their marriage. If you’ve acknowledged it mutually, then maybe there’s still some hope left. 

So, if you and your partner find your marriage boat ready to capsize any moment, then perhaps you’ve taken the first right decision of reading this article. It contains some of the best answers on how to recover a marriage. 

Recommended reading: Marriage And Men’s Health: Do Man Benefit From Marriage?

How to recover a marriage that’s failing?

1. Ruminate on the causes that led your marriage here

Have you ever asked yourself why your marriage is standing at this crossroad? Many people might advise you to not think about the past and focus upon the present and future, but you need to get an idea as to where your marriage stands so you can think about it. 

Below mentioned are some common causes which cause broken marriage:

  • Infidelity:

Although infidelity is not viewed as a crime by law, it is certainly one of the biggest steps one or both partners can take, which can spiral down the marriage. How to recover marriage after the affair, you ask? Well, sometimes it depends upon the understanding and willingness to forgive the partner who’s cheated. Other times, no matter how strong the bond is, the marriage can never be saved after an affair. 

  • Emotional unavailability:

No matter how madly you are in love with your partner during the beginning of the relationship, eventually, it fades. The partners cease to express their love and affection for each other, and all that remains is a mutual dependency for materialistic and physical needs, sometimes not even the latter. 

It is easy to understand that love fades over time. However, sometimes people don’t need to be loved as much as they want to be understood. So, when even understanding is dethroned in a relationship, there’s nothing left to be saved.

  • Communication gap:

Lack of communication is one of the major factors that sink any relationship, no matter how strong it is. When you stop sharing things with your beloved and cease to express your feelings or emotions, a chasm is created which continues to grow. The increasing chasm decreases the bond of the relationship. 

  • Crisis:

Sometimes when a marriage is thrown headlong into a crisis in the very beginning, it can either be stronger or be broken. Crisis often determines how strong or fragile a relationship will be in the future. 

Once you realize what went wrong in your relationship after long ruminations, don’t give up hope, no matter how badly you or your partner has messed it up. Marriages can still be saved, provided the couple mutually invests an equal amount of effort and time in saving it. This can only happen when they both want to save the marriage. If either of them has given them hope and cannot see the way out of it unscathed, then no positive outcome is possible. 

2. Communicate

Once you’ve successfully unraveled the root of the problem, start communicating again. Start to have those conversations and this time, listen to your partner. It might get uncomfortable at first, but when your marriage is at stake, it is important to get through the discomfort. 

It is also possible that what your spouse has to tell you might offend you. But don’t get offended and talk to them. It’s their version of the story, their truth and they have a right to have them. Once they’re done, politely say what you think. That’s how effective communication should be.

When it comes to solving the bigger problems, be patient. It will certainly take some time to understand and be comfortable with the situation. Patience is the only key that will save your marriage from falling apart. 

3. Why did you fall in love with them?

Identifying the reason why you fell in love with your spouse may spark some feelings and also give you a reason for not losing hope. If you want, you can also reminisce and walk down memory lane. This can rekindle the extinguished spark. 

If writing helps, you can also write down your first impressions when you first met your spouse, when you were in a relationship with them, and the reason you decided to marry them. This will lift your spirits and help you analyze what’s wrong in your marriage. 

4. Don’t get distracted

Marriage is a part of life, as is your career and parenthood. Sometimes, being a parent can be too exhausting to focus on other aspects of life. As a result, the bond between two partners in a marriage fizzles out. 

Under such circumstances, it’s important to realign and reconsider your marriage. When your marriage is grounded, other aspects of life become much easier to handle. 

How to recover a marriage: Reconnect!

To resume your marriage, it’s important to resort to older methods of strengthening a bond, such as dating, texting at work, etc. When you invest constant efforts to keep the spark alive between you and your partner, eventually the marriage will be healed. 

The above mentioned are some of the effective answers on how to recover a marriage from an emotional affair, communication gap, crisis, or any other external factor. 

Hope you found them useful!