Sex is one important ingredient in life. From physical gratification to several important health benefits, sex does it all.  Sex not only provides physical pleasure but also improves and uplifts mental health with physical health, too. 

A lot of people are concerned about their sexual performance, whether they are doing it right, or whether the duration of their sex is lesser than the usual. It is important to understand that there is no definitive rulebook telling you how long should sex last. The duration of your sex depends on a lot of factors, and here we are to discuss some of them, as listed below:

1.Age:

It is a known fact that with increasing age, there are a lot of hormonal changes that take place in the body. As you grow older, conditions like decreased libido or vaginal dryness begin, which affect your sexual activity

sex last

Apart from that, the time one generally takes to get aroused and to maintain erections also decreases on getting older. Hence, age plays an important factor in regulating your sex drive.

2.Sexual dysfunction:

For men suffering from premature ejaculation, sex might not last as long as you would want it to. The same is with people suffering from delayed ejaculation.

3.Genitalia:

The shape of the genitals might be a factor to determine the duration of the sex, in some cases. The shape of the penis and that of the ridge around its head are found to be of importance, by researchers. 

4.Their definition of ‘sex’: 

Everybody does not want the same things from sex, i.e., everybody’s definition of sex might not necessarily be the same. Some people might like to think of sex as just penile-vaginal intercourse, and hence, their sex might last for a very short span. While others might like to think of sex as the entire process of foreplay combined with the penetration, and hence, their duration ought to be more. 

5.Sexual orientation:

Your sexual orientation might also play a factor in determining the duration of your sex. Females in same-sex couples have greater lasting sex, compared with the sex between other types of couples.

6.External constraints:

New parents might have to sneak out or look for some time from their schedule, and hence might not have all the time in the world to make their sex last really long. Couples in a live-in relationship or a newlywed couple might have sufficient time some days to have all the foreplay they want and reach the climax eventually.

7.Sexual goals:

This might be counted under the definition of sex also. What you’re looking for from your sex is important. An orgasm for each partner might be a sexual goal you’re looking forward to, and these are the things that collectively decide how long your sex does or should last in the normal course of circumstances.

What is the average duration of sex?

According to a survey by the Society for Sex therapy and Research, vaginal sex normally lasts for about three to seven minutes. According to the same survey, any sex that lasts one to two minutes was considered “too short”, whereas sex that lasts somewhere around 10 to 30 minutes was considered “too long”.

According to most sex therapists and experts, anywhere around 7 to 13 minutes is what comes under a ‘desirable’ sex duration.

Another survey was conducted among the sex therapists in the United States and Canada, and given below are some observations from the same:

  • If sex lasts less than 3 minutes, you might need to look for any possible clinical concerns
  • For most people, sex normally lasts between 3 to 7 minutes
  • Most people desire their sex to last around 7 to 13 minutes (Also, most people are observed to yearn for their sex to last longer, however, for most of them, the time it lasts is the same)

A study conducted in 2020 reveals that the average time taken by heterosexual women to orgasm is 13.41 minutes.

Why do we yearn for longer sex?

All of us know how the quality of sex is always more powerful than the quantity (time duration) of the sex, yet we mostly tend to associate longer sex with better sex. Why we last our sex so long, is a question everybody needs an answer to. Apart from the fact that it’s fun and enjoyable, are there any biological or other factors that make our sex last longer?

The researchers that conducted the study given above concluded that the shape of the man’s penis and the ridge around its head scoops out the already existing syrup from the vagina. 

Men’s continued and repeated thrusting of the penis into the vagina might displace other men’s semen before ejaculating, in order to ensure that their sperms get a better chance at reaching the egg. Hence, it is painful for men to continue thrusting after ejaculation.

How to make sex last longer?

Lovely couple in bed under the covers.

If you’re looking for ways to make your sex last longer, here’s what you can try:

  • When one of the partners starts to or is about to reach orgasm, they might take a little break and try pleasuring the other partner.
  • Talk to each other about their sexual experience, and what else they are looking for. This will help both of you to enjoy the entire duration you have sex, in a better way.
  • You can also try deep breathing and visualization exercises to delay orgasm.
  • Foreplay is an integral part, and it is good to focus on that as well, apart from the penetration. The goal of sex is a pleasure for both partners, and this is a step towards that.
  • Prioritizing female orgasm can also be a good option, maybe by offering clitoral stimulation, or oral sex. 
  • Wear a thick condom.
  • You can also try a penis ring.
  • Masturbate 1-2 hours before the sex. This makes it harder for you to come very quickly when you have sex.
  • Try squeezing techniques, by squeezing the base of your partner’s penis.
  • Try new sex positions.

Hope these tips help you enjoy your intimate moments for a longer duration!